it's the LAST DAY of the year
and i was zooming through my posts of 2008

some TOP 1O highlights
-Church Musical
-YEP Vietnam
-Becoming BFF with Ang Sue Fern
-Moved to ah ma's hse
-Kaili's accident @ Ubin
-My birthday cake from Miss Adeline
-Final Year Research Project
-Alpha Camp
-My disappoinments
-PRCP

it's quite a tough year for me
I thank God for the trials, and pulling it through with me
there's still alot of unresolved problems that have to be brought forward
oh wells,
i know You'll pull me through, i just need to hold Your hand.

"The Lord will fight for me, I only have to be still"

I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day

especially when i know the reason why.


Oh, what are you thinking of?

this song stucked in my head
i love her voice ahaha!

i changed my msn nick to
gabrielle.

and many people ask y i change..
simply because i need to be more mature lol!
gabbylicious sounds abit kiddy alreadyyy ahahah!

and i was looking at my nick
i realised i love my name

my name is so nice

Gabrielle

suits my character - strong

I'm beginning to love nursing more.

She's a middle age aunty,
when the first time i met her,
it was night shift
she was looking perfectly fine..
just abit of weakness over the left side..

Dr query stroke and told her that..
immediately i saw tears welled up in her eyes
but she didnt allow a single drop to roll down her cheeks

she couldnt sleep the whole night
and i could sense that she really need someone to talk to..
so before knocking off,
i went to talk to her..
she teared and told me that she's afraid,
because in the ED she saw a ah ma who was stroked out,
drooling saliva, unable to talk properly, mouth was slanted..
she's afraid that she'll be the same like that ah ma,
she's afraid she can't work anymore,
she's afraid that she can't cope, her family can't cope etc..
and i'm glad that i'm willing to talk to her and lend her my ears
(at that point of time i'm super tired and i seriously shocked y i did that too)

the following night (12hours later)
she's in the toilet and her call bell rang,
i went to pick her from the toilet and brought her back to bed..
i was totally shocked when i'm transferring her back to bed
because her left side was totally weak..
i couldn't transfer her to bed,
we fell together on the bed
i use alot alot alot of strength and she also trying to get herself unto the bed
thank God i managed to put her on bed..
at the same time, i can feel that she's feeling damn sad and useless.

till then for the past few days,
she's seems better, undergoing rehab and stuffs,
but i can see that she got no motivation
because as the physio walk her around the ward,
she didnt really try hard..

today, when i brought her to the toilet to shit,
before i pull out her pants,
she shitted already
and it spilled over my right shin and shoe
i felt EEWW but i wasn't really angry..
rather i thank God for that shit mess
because before that she requested to help her close the door
and she'll called after finishing business..
normally if it's old aunties i won't but for her i tot it'll be alright
but because of shit mess, i went to wash my feet in the next cubicle
and wanted to clear up her mess
as i approached her, she's unresponsive
thank God i asked for help and help arrive..
SN Hoi Sum and i quickly push her out
SSN Yeo and Hoi Sum faster put her back to bed frm comode to bed with shit mess all around (miriculously they got that strength! good thing no shit on their uniform)
oh i went to call the Dr.
15secs of CPR, patient regain conscious..
and everything was back to normal..

for the first time
i got shit all over my right leg
and i think it's all worth while..
thanks for the shit,
thanks for the mess

otherwise patient may be lying on the bed dead
and i'll just tot that she's sleeping
or.. patient may be left in the toilet dead
if i left her in the toilet alone for 4 mins.

the teamwork was perfect.
fast and good.

after that i was talking to SSN Yeo about the incident
she said that she saw smiles on the patient's face for the first time
the patient was so thankful that we saved her life
(we told her exactly what happened)
and i really hope that she will soon find or have found her meaning of life.

I wish you a merry christmas
I wish you a merry christmas
I wish you a merry christmas
And a happy new year!


i love the carols,
i love the carolling,
i love the fellowship i had this christmas =)

Happy Birthday Jesus!

felt super tired, super drained at work.
patients, relatives all so irritating...

but when i saw my 2nd fav ah ma
lying on the bed, in that same cubicle,
i felt so comforted..
yesterday i was still thinking about her..
wondering how's she.
now she's out of ICU,
back to the ward
see.. How great is our God.

Guy:
When I say I love you, I'm not just making you my wife,
I'm making you my best friend, my last dance, my only hope, and my forever-lover.

When I say I love you, I'm not just expressing a feeling,
I'm solidifying a commitment; planning on taking my whole life to show it to you.

When I say I love you, I'm not claiming to have all the answers,
but I'm hoping that together we can ask all the right questions.

When I say I love you, I'm not just repeating 'til death do us part,
I'm saying I'll be with you forever - in this life and the life to come.

When I say I love you, I'm not just voicing mere words,
I'm telling you that I've been surprised, challenged, shocked, and humbled--realizing that soul mates really do exist.

When I say I love you, I'm not just giving you human love,
but I'm attempting to pour out God's unconditional, sacrificial love;
dying to self in hopes that I can better honor and serve you.

you're the woman of my dreams, an undeserved blessing, and a gift from God.
To much of the world my life will be closed, but to you I open my heart.
I don't know what the future holds, but I know that I don't have one without you.

So, just know that when I say I love you, I love you!


Girl :
When I say I love you, I'm not just making you my husband,
I'm making you my strong-hold, the family leader, my heart's protector, and my good night kiss.
When I say I love you, I'm not just standing before family and friends,
I'm kneeling before Christ our Savior and praying that His grace will knit our lives together.

When I say I love you, I'm not just adding your last name, I'm subtracting our loneliness, dividing our sorrows, and multiplying our joy so that two may become one.

When I say I love you, I'm not just asking you to make me whole;
I'm asking you to stay focused on God, then together with His strength and will, we will be made holy.

When I say I love you, I'm not expecting happily ever after,
I'm preparing to walk through the mountains and the valleys,
swim through the joys and the sorrows, battle the good times and the bad so together we can make a life.

When I say I love you, I don't want big houses or fancy cars, I just want to live in your arms and touch your heart so we can dream bigger dreams than we could separately.

you are the man of my dreams, a real-life knight in shining armor, and I've never had such peace as I have with you. I'm never closer to God than I am when I'm with you. I know I'm not perfect, but I know that we fit perfectly together.

Just know that when I say I love you, I love you!

-a sweet wedding vow that i found on Godtube.com

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say Lord,
Blessed be your name


Life's tough.
but i meant it.. Blessed be the name of the Lord...
sometimes shits really happened in life
that it's totally out of control

it's Him that i've found peace and joy
that i can still laugh out loud feeling really happy

i thank God for christmas
i thank God for pulling me back..
i thank God for providing me listening ears..
and crying partners. =S hahaha

helpless.. but the only thing i can do is to pray.

we love you may pang and geraldine!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VINA!!!
hope u like our surprise party!

LOVE YOU!!!

Alpha Camp 2008 has come to an end.
6 months of serving and preparation
for the camp is really tedious
but i really thank God and i've gain alot

i've got to know my fellow brothers and sisters in christ more,
i've learnt how to use photoshop
i've learnt how to use publisher
and God also taught me how to love and forgive.

I really want to thank Yu Juin, Enli, Jian En, Jia Fa laoshi, Shimmie
for encouraging me and supporting me through this whole process
when i felt weary, mark out my mistakes and taught me how to deal with it..

hopefully i can serve again next year
but that really depends if God wants me to serve in Alpha Camp.
i'm so glad we had alpha camp this year =)

my God is a merciful.
remember the ah ma i shared that is in critical stage
who is under DIL/DNR
she's getting well...
from using a ventri mask, now she's on nasal prong
and she started her physiotherapy with the therapist,
walked out of bed again today...

but

the another ah ma who was recovering well
and looking good,
suddenly collapsed previous morning
and Thank God she managed to be resuscitated.
currently in SICU.

why i say that my God is merciful?
the first ah ma isn't a christian
while the second is a christian.

and when i heard this news during my night previously,
i was just shocked
but there isn't really much sadness
i had when i first heard the news of both in critical stage.

perhaps i know that i'm going to see the second ah ma forever
but for the first ah ma.. it's hard to say

all i can do is to pray for her sliently
hoping that the gospel will reach to this ah ma...


i want to join the camp!! =(((

it's really quite tiring to like be in camp in the afternoon
and work at night in the hospital
but thank God that He gave me strength =)

i didn't really like my night shift,
it's because of the team
they are just working at different stations
not like my previous night shift,
at least we chat, joked, eat, have a lil fun
so that we won't be feeling tired.

nways i'm gonna take cases tonight
probably 6 or 12 not very sure yet.
and again, i want a good night shift =)

ohoh some updates about my ah mas,
they are quite alert,
the critical ah ma can laugh at least but can't talk
cuz too breathless.
the other one she's getting better too!
*yays*


so now about the camp,
there's alot of new comers today!
and alot of people!!
really Thank God for these people...

tried to hype up my group during noon today
and im glad that they are quite ONs people =))
i can't wait to join them on FRIDAY!!

GO CHLORO! GO CHOLRO ~PHIL!

Gabrielle loses her cool today.
and really felt sorry for that
esp xinyi who was so innocently beside me..

happily went to church at 11am,
did my vids and camp booklet..
then there's some technical faults
such that i have to go back to von's hse to save all the vids

after that went to church, did some filming
but then suddenly in the afternoon gwen msged me
telling me that 2 of my patients are not in good condition
and these 2 patients are my fave patients

when i was really tired during night shift
esp when i need to shower them in the morn..
they really treat me very nice, and asked me to sit beside their bed and rest..
not only that..
one of them is under dangerously ill list and DNR today
she is really cute and lovable..
i can remember sometimes she talks, her dentures came out,
the way she walks like some mafia boss.. and how she go and ka jiao other patients,
and when she's breathless, she still talk to me even when she knows that i don't understand a single thing she said, because it's in cantonese..
and all her funny action really made my day lor!

another one is a christian, i can always remember during my admission she will hold my hand and say i'm nice, i'm good.. and during my night although every 2hours i'm serving bed pan to her, she'll really feel sorry and keep saying sorry to me...
she'll be my interpreter when the above ah ma talks to me.. but she'll say in hokkien mixed with cantonese and made it very funny..

they really made my night shift very fun and memorable...

all these memories just rushed up
and i just can't do my work anymore..
i teared, i prayed
hoping that the 3 deaths a row and no more death till end of the year is true..
and really hope that during my night shift (which starts tmr)
they will be perfectly fine..
i really dun want to see them go with my own eyes..

because of this,
i've cried and after that i was super tired
can't think of any ideas to continue my video..
time is running out and there's still stuffs undone.
until like 6-7hours later then we're rushing to finish it.
that's y i've lose my cool today.

still Thank God things went on smoothly
and all done.
such that tmr i don't have to go to my church anymore to do camp stuffs
but have enough time to prepare my case study presentation
that have to be presented like tmr night or after.

He really got the whole world in His hands.

soooo busy with alpha camp stuffs
and so tired!!
but i really feel joyful
even though i have lots to do..

at first i was really worrying that "shit! i got no time to do..."
due to my shifts.. but i really thank God for giving me weekends off..
plus a pay back public holiday tmr.
so that i can finish everything on time.
most importantly.. i managed to get Night Duties
so i can have weekends off again and join alpha camp!

it was so properly planned for me..
like gwen always said " IT'S A MIRACLE!"
straight 3 weeks of weekends off..

in His time, in His time
He makes all things beautiful
in His time...

it's getting better
in His time =)

kind of feeling brain dead now.
my creative juice all missing...

don't care le!
sleep first!

i like the wooden cabin
i like the fireplace

christmas mood

spent my weekends with my churchies and family =)
it was really great!
esp after straight 8 days of work.

i really felt disconnected from my family and churchies
i'm glad that we had celebration today for vivian
cuz it's a time where i connect back with my family
and spent time with my grandparents, aunties and uncles.


i don't want to lose the connection between churchies and servings also,
i want to serve and stay connected.

Thank God for a great weekend!

i'm thankful that i had that sleepover.
so that i can be accountable to my love ones.
really thanks
for those advices,
and time of fellowship and sharing.

esp when i'm lost.
i dunno what to do,
how to do..

but at least i got a clearer picture.
oh wells..
my girls, just pray for me kayz!


it's kind of getting slightly deeper yet far.
still strangers lah.

i'm blogging at enli's hse now!
drank barcadi and waiting for may to arrive

yay! completed my first night shift =))
next round will be on the 16th-19th!
but i heard that it's not really gonna be good one..
cuz the staffs i'll be with are.. kind of... hmm.. (not good)

oh another thing is..
these two nights, there's ghost roaming around my ward
my patient saw and my preceptor have the ability to see it.
yep, she saw it. =S

Nurses and Pandas have a common thing, their eyes.

yay my first night was quite nice =)
all my staffs are fun and nice people
i realised carmelita oso very nice

i've finally completed 3 case presentations..
still owing 2 though hahaha sianzz

i'm working junior at night
quite relax lah..
at least don't have the stress to give IV abx,
writing reports
just do my parameters, feed patients, admissions, suctioning,
and the most i did was bring patients to toilet =S

it was my peaceful first night.
hopefully tonight will be the same =)))


i better go and slp le~

YAY! i'm going to have my very first night shift today =)))
9pm to 8am!

quite excited about it
because my night today and tommorrow
have fun people!
Seri, Gwen, Jessica, Zainab, Indra
only one not quite fun one Carmalita =S

many of my friends said that night sucks
i guess mine won't be so cuz there's fun people around at least =)

yays!

SEOW. SIAO.

gosh! i'm with SN Seow again today
taking care of 6 patients

it was HORRIBLE and TERRIBLE.
i just can't perform well infront of her
i dunno WHY!
i made quite a no. of mistakes lor!

for that whole 8 hours shift
i was NBM(nil by mouth), NPU (no pass urine), BNO (Bowel not open)

but.
i've learnt new things.

OKAY SHIT! i just remembered...
i forgot to write a report of my patient!
im so dead tmr =S


but i realised that i still can smile when SN Seow "scolded" me.
good temper gabby, good temper.

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.

Micah 7:18 (NIV)
verse-a-day.com

child of God
staff nurse

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