i'm going back to the ward finally!!
doro and wenya said that they had culture shock
because we're away from the ward for 1 month!
and many things changed during that 1 month

thank God i'm doing night shift as a start
apparently night shift won't have much changes
except for new HOs.

i shall study abit on drugs tonight...
sleep now! hahaha

i'm still struggling whether to fork out 2k for my parents to get a new car
cuz mom said that they have to pay at least 2k first to get the car
and subsequently by instalment.

currently i'm going to like get my driving license
and i'm prepare to spend like 2k already (because on average people spend about 2k)
and i don't really have much money left.
2k+2k=4k
it's not that i don't have money to pay
but.. it's kind of sad for me.. when i've saved up like alot
then i need to spend alot as well.

because mom said that we'll save up alot of money
the van is $460+/mth exclusive of petrol
the car is $300+/mth exclusive petrol

and my blog says "Freely you have received, freely give." - Matthew 10:8

"okay Gabrielle is some selfish pig that wants to save up for herself
because she's worried that she got no enough money for Uni
(currently is 24k. 1-2 years down the road may become 26-27k?)
but now she shouldn't be selfish because the money was freely received
so she have to freely give. "

this is what i heard in my mind when i read this verse
but it's my own voice leh..

okay okay okay!
i'm going to fork out 2k
and don't worry about my future.
Let God decide...that's the best for me.

i'm officially a student of BBDC now.
and i went swimming today!!

my swimming improved alot!
i can swim laps already wahahha so happy..
but i got stop inbetween and took a few gulps of chlorine water *pui,pui,pui*

gonna meet yubin,vivian and vina for movies later!
and for the first time i'm going out with yubin..
ha ha ha..

went to BBDC today with vivian and intended to enrol for BTT as private candidate
but after waiting for about 1.5hrs
this driving instructor talked to us
and explained to us the difference between school and private

we just couldn't make up our minds to take private or school
so we intended to discuss with our parents and ask our friends
on average, school is actually much faster and better
but private can be really cheap if i'm able to pass during my first test.

so.. i've made my decision to get my driving license through school
hopefully everything goes smoothly so that i don't have to spend so much money!

i'm going to run tmr
and swim the next day!
hopefully...

here's my 2 favourite red packets i've received, pretty and cute.

oh mans oh mans!
i'm staying over at ahyi's hse today!!
so fun =)
SVC channels, onlining, nintendo wii, big soft toys, cam whoring with a mac

but vianna is super super talkative and i'm kind of irritated..
so u should know how talkative she is.

read this from TMT's blog..

http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-articles-10_careers_that_top_30_per_hour-626

10 careers that top $30 per hour
registered nurse rank no. 2

Registered Nurse
Mean Hourly Wage: $30.04
Salary: $62,480
Historic demand for registered nurses is inspiring many people to reinvent themselves as health care practitioners. Nursing is projected to generate more new jobs than any other profession -- an estimated 587,000 positions through 2016, which represents a 23% increase in a decade. To take advantage of this boom, head to nursing school for your bachelor's degree in nursing (BSN). Accelerated programs are available for career changers who already have a bachelor degree in another field.
-as reported by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics

sounds good rite

only in overseas like US, Aust even China
nurses are being respected by patients, drs, relatives

in singapore?
lots of workload
and being treated like maid, servants
yucks

and today during my meet up with my nursing friends,
we talk about different hospitals basic pay
NUH was abt 1.8k
SGH 1.9k
TTSH i not very sure
AH 1.66k
big difference hor!
so tempted to change hospital after my 2 years bond
or to just go overseas to get my degree and work there...

although it's still long.. about 2 years then i should worry about this
but i just can't help but to start thinking about how should i plan for my future

and this sentence keep appearing in my head
money or serving?

come to think about it...that
it is my calling
to serve the Lord through nursing
though not very very clear in what way yet
but today cell we talk about choose to serve and being a servant of God
and i realised that i always choose to serve

Richard Foster notes the difference between choosing to be a servant and
choosing to serve. When we choose to serve, we are still very much in charge. We
decide whom we will serve, when we'll we do it, and to what extent. We exclaim,
"I won't let him walk all over me!"
Servants, on the other hand, have
surrendered their right to choose who and when they will serve. All of their
life is seen from the perspective of a slave. They no longer possess the rights
of free man and women. They are completely available and vulnerable! In John 13
Jesus shows us what it means to be a loving servant.
- adapted from my cell
material

i felt quite ashamed after reading it,
because when i sing

No longer I
But Christ living in me
Serving You for all eternity

i mean it but i didn't do it
oh well actions speak louder than words rite?

My eyes set on You
In this race that I run
No longer my ways
Let Your will be done
Make me a servant
My heart's ever true
Clinging to the cross
I'll follow You

singing it is so so easy
but to do it's really a struggle..

Father, till when can i really mean what i sing?
teach me, show me, help me =)
thanks...

2He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 18:2-4(NIV)

i have a friend
who isn't a christian
and don't really like the idea of going to church
she's not some anti christian
just that she thinks that she doesn't need any religion..
she shared to me last week that her friend invited her to church
but to her it's a NONO.. cuz she'll sit down during worship,
she'll sleep and snore during sermon
and every sentence she speaks will have vaulgarities.

then again recently, she was telling me that she don't want to get married,
she didn't really have crush on guys before blah blah..

just nice i was currently reading this book called
Boy meets Girl: Saying hello to courtship (Christian based)
and i had a long break today, so i took it out and read.
she saw, then i exchanged my book with her NEWpaper
as she read a few pages
she told me.. hey can i borrow your book and read?
i want to read.

i was quite shocked actually
because i thought that she won't be interested at all!
it's really amazing to see how God work
and i really hope that God will touch her heart with that book
and she will come to know God a little more through
that little say hello to courtship book =)

if you read this, pray for her =)

Operating theatre is FREAKING COLD
18.8 degrees and we can't wear jacket!

so thanks to eleanor that she taught me a way
to keep myself warm and awake.

JUMPING JACKS!

yes.. after doing a few jumping jacks,
i felt more refreshed and less cold..
yay i can do that during my night shift next week already =D

two songs that's stuck in my head

And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you



She's got her own thing
That's why I love her
Ms. Independent
OoOo the way you shine
Miss Independent

i'm seriously thankful that yesterday i've talked to deyu in church about CF stuffs.. such that i was reminded about the regular monday CF meetings that i've missed out so so so so much!

and yes! i went CF today..
it was the last CF of the academic year =)
a short session of prayer and praise
plus sharing was pretty well done

i'm really grateful that God put me in CF
although i've missed alot alot of trainings
but i'm thankful because everytime when i go CF
i always feel welcomed even i haven't been going for a long long time..
this is something that i really hope that my church will be like that too =)

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. - Ephesians 3:14-21-

Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

I did a time out today
gosh it was quite terrible

1. the surgeon happily talking to the anaestheist and not listening to me.. so noisy
2. i got laughed at by the surgeon and anaestheist for saying lymphoma instead of lipoma
(okay my mistake.. nervous mah!)
3. i felt very very awakard when i ask for agreement cuz no response!

idiot.


on a brighter note, i scrubbed a case today!
removal of right thigh papilloma
simple case (no kick) but fun lah
the MO quite nice too =D

Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.
Complicated circumstances
have clouded his view.
Lord I lift my friend up to You.

I fear that I won’t have the words
that he needs to hear.
I pray for Your wisdom , oh God.
And a heart that's sincere.
And Lord I lift my friend up
to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.
My best friend in the
world, I know he means much
more to You.
I want so much to help him, but
this is something he has to do.
Lord I lift my friend up to You.

There's a way that seems so right to him.
But You know where that leads.
He's becoming a puppet of the world.
Too blind to see the strings.
And Lord I lift my friend up to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.

yay! i've received wenya's registration form for ALPHA YOUTH COURSE!

i freaking hate that diathermy smell!
it just keep on haunting me..

diathermy is a machine that surgeon use to burn the fats, tissues and anything
so i get to experience the human meat smell

IT'S GROSS.
i feel like puking..

8 more days in OT.. =((

i missed my HS clique so badly!
after that video call

meet out soon again pleaseeee

Spent a day with Wenya today =))
went Bukit Timah Plaza for the authentic korean food
chit chat a little
then walked to bukit timah shopping centre to buy belt
then walked back to my home with her listening to music, running away from bird shits
and crapping.. that 45mins of walk was great!

also..taught her how to make up!
haha quite fun =))
(you need to practice more girl!)


my dearest friend that i've loved for 7 years!!
frankly speaking, i'll never understand how u feel know
cuz each individual has their own feelings that no one else can understand
but i just want you to know that
whatever decision u make, u must be able to bear the consequences
and that decision u make must be a confidence 'yes' or 'no'.. there won't be any 'i dunno.'
i can't promise to be there for you always
but no matter what decision u made, i'll give my fullest support
and at any time u need a person to talk to,
try me, i'll try to give my very best to you =)

keeping you in my prayers always!

i had a nice sunday today!
chilling in coffeebean
reading book and chatting abit

and also shopping @ boring Lot 1 =\
did pedi but it's totally waste of money.
(enli it's not ur fault cuz my right big toe was RUINED during the bus ride home =( )
i think i'll do my own pedi at home next time ahaha!

enli cut her hair
and i believe she'll not step into that salon anymore hahah!
bad service!!!

Lot 1 shopping wasn't really fun
cuz was quite aimless
BUT I LOVE CHILLING WITH U ENLI!

and yes, we're old already... =\

tmr i'm going to meet WENYA!!
and hopefully Suefern on wed..

so nice to meet up 3 important girls in my life
coming week =)))

Grace like rain

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

had my first cell of the year today!
quite nice =)
esp to have more people at cell this time
wahahaha

went swimming after that..
swimming lesson 2

not too bad i've improved!
but still wrong technique and wrong coordination =\
will try harder wahahha

coming monday i'll be posted to Operating Theatre =\
i heard that the staff are not nice, the surgeons are unfriendly pigs
just pray hard that i'll 'enjoy' my posting there.. 2 WEEKS LEH!!

So last day in ED,
we get to see the Staff having their competency skill check for donning the HAZMAT SUIT.
and all ED staffs and some other ward staffs have to undergo this HAZMAT training..

Enli dear,
i've read ur dedication post!

well...
actually nth happened =)
just that this morning it's like going to rain literally
there and then i was preparing tmr cell's stuffs
and thinking about my future as in career, family, relationships
then somehow felt that tomorrow is so unclear...
it's full of "SURPRISES" =\

but i strongly believed that God has a plan for me
just that i hate to keep on guessing and not know what's the plan
ahahaha..

i'll not run away from the rain,
but to gladly accept and dance in the rain

just pray hard that i'll not fall sick after that (hahaha.. just joking)

I think I'll want to work in A&E in the future.
because i can be exposed to more stuffs i guess =)

i think the difference between ED and normal Wards basically
is the people i'm working with..

in ED i get to work with radiographers more often,
paramedics, police officers, consultants, medical officers..

then in wards i get to work with physiotherapist, occupational therapist,
HOs, MOs...

then in ED i get to come in contact with many different kind of patients
young, old, male, female, alcoholic, prisoners, detaintees, psychotic,
rich, poor, trauma, suicide, critically ill, not critically ill patients..

and in my current ward i'll get in contact with young,old female patients
normally orthopedics, medical, surgical and geriatric patients.

and to be frank, i didnt really enjoy my 1st week posting..
but now.. i enjoyed alot and have seen alot also

gotta pray hard.. but i guess most prob i'll end up in ED =)

YAY i finally went out with wenya today!!
thanks girl for accompany me shopping at JP,
eat MEGA MAC,
chit chat with me =)

SHOPPING!!! (like finally...)
bought some clothes for myself
wahaha so happy.

i want to go out with you again!!

FULL HOUSE at ED in the afternoon..
there will be at least a case.

ED keeps me cool and stay calm..
that's what i've learnt so far =D

finally something interesting happened in the ED today

a 89y.o ah ma came in for munchausen syndrome
in layman it means "hospital addiction syndrome"

it's a psy disorder
and she come almost everyday
(but last week she didnt come)
she's a regular ED attendee
and she really able to exaggerate symptoms
and bo bian have to let her into the observation area.

then she will sleepover night till next day 0600hrs
and demands to go back home.

quite irritating at times
keep calling and calling for missy
speak canto but then halfway will become some weird dialect that only she can understand..

walk into other people's curtain and look for doctor
walk around the department as she's at home...

oh wells,
at least she made ED slightly more alive.

As i was reading the cell group material
im really quite shocked to see that the topic for cell this week is about Love,
accepting and loving, building lasting relationships
gosh.. it's just what i want to learn!

cool cool..

I want to learn to keep quiet and listen
I want to learn to accept and love
I want to learn to build genuine relationships
I want to learn to be more like You.

so Lord, teach me how...

im happy for wenya and suefern!
having very sweet life now =)



i prayed for you.

Good News:
attended alpha youth course training..
and before we ended we're suppose to pray
ask the Lord to show us who we can asked to join ayc.

immediately wenya just popped up.
and i really prayed..

then wenya talked to me online..
asking me how's ED
and i managed to pop the qns
" are you willing to come for ayc "
im so afraid that she'll reject me
but she didnt!
she said she'll think about it

seriously, i'm happy about it.
=)

girl, i know u'll read this...
i'm not going to force you,
i'm not going to bug you,
but i'm not going to leave you alone
and i'll keep praying for you..
in fact i've been praying for you for years
hoping that one day you'll taste God's love and grace
and know the wonders about it.

i love you as a friend
but i want to love you as a sister in christ.

Bad News:
i've leaked out my 'secret'
to quite a no. of people
and to be honest,
i'm quite afraid
and regretted it so so much.

it's easy to made the wrong move
but it's hard to correct it.

another thing is
1 death occured in my ward on new year day
2nd death is coming..
i really wonder if what SSN Joanne Yeo said is true or not.
when festive season is near, people start to expire...

Nathan asked me today
if i can handle deaths emotionally.
that's a qns that alot of people asked me
after some thoughts (as i blog)
i realised that i can handle deaths
i'll just feel sad for quite some time (never more than a day)
but when i know that the patient that i've nursed before
is in critical condition
i'll be even sadder and really feel pain for my patients

being in critical condition is worse then being dead.
looking at my patient gasping for air, trying so hard to live
is much more hurting than patient passed away.

Thank God i'm feeling sad because that shows that i care.
unlike my friend today.. said "wah! i love COA! so exciting (because there's a collapsed case)"

*roll eyes*

i've witness another sad story today
and did my very first CPR.

it was a P1 case,
old ah ma fall in a marketplace,
suffered a huge hematoma at the back of the head...
Dr did a sternum rub, and there isn't much response to the inflicted pain.
but patient's vitals was stable

after that pt undergo a urgent CT head
but when she's on the way back to the critcal observation area,
she collapsed.
after about 45min of resus,
she's pronounced brain dead

when i saw the son holding the ah ma's hand, praying so hard
my heart just sank.

just imagine...
this ah ma went market to buy groceries
maybe she wants to whip up good dishes for her grandchildren
for celebrating 1st day of school
or just whip up nice dishes for her family.
but accidently fall in the market
and there she is, lying on the death bed.
before she passed away,
she did not see her children, her grandchildren
when she passed away, she didn't have the chance to say goodbye.

gwen msged me yesterday
telling me that she so wanted to share christ with that ah ma in the morning
(she's doing her nights)
but she didn't have the time to do so..
when she's on duty at night, the ah ma passed away already.
it's too late.

Love the people around you before they disappear.
be patient, kind...
always protect, always trust
do not be rude, do not be easily angered,
always persevere...


faith.hope.love
the greatest of these is love
because love never fails...
-1 Corinthians 13-

i like the way i spent my new year day!
it was nice and relaxing

countdown in church
had some sharing..
actually hor.. i dunno what i'm sharing ahahaha!
nwayz.. after that i went to jia fa laoshi's hse stayover!

play fingers twister (quite fun leh!)
watched kungfu Panda,
played mahjong,
sleep till late morning
went raffles city for Shoduku
went to buy swimsuit @ westmall
slept for 1hr plus
went swimming (yay i've improved my swimming.. but still need to practice more)
then back at home!

just that i didnt spent my new year day with my family..
at least i saw granny @ my hse when i'm back!
i guess i should spend some time with them =))
go watch tv would be nice ^^


my new year resolution: KEEP FIT.

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.

Micah 7:18 (NIV)
verse-a-day.com

child of God
staff nurse

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