Wednesday, June 30, 2010 @ 10:21 PM
to Tic Tac
hey T.T!
thanks for ur "rival"
how can florida's natural be ur rival!!
it's so nice! hahaha
and when are u going to tell me who u are???
harhhhh
Tuesday, June 29, 2010 @ 12:50 AM
i'm twenty one!
happy birthday to me!
yes i'm twenty one.
thanks my 5 crazy cuzzies girls
for doing a great party on the 26th
and me doing nth at all hahaha.
thanks for the wishes from family and friends
lil nice cards and gifts =)
being 21 means i need to learn to be even mature.
many people used to say i'm mature
i can make my own decision, i am independant.
then later stage, i've became dependant on others.
at home, i just want to be lazy
at work, i just want to act blur.
and as time goes by, i've inherited these two bad habits =\
now, being 21
i really need to grow up and be wise.
esp after complaining about work these days
and today my preceptor reminded me to be aware of people around
i really need to learn to hold on to my faith every single day
as i battle against the nasty.
i'm 21. old enough to handle it myself.
Sunday, June 20, 2010 @ 10:32 PM
BYE AH!
surprisingly today it's my last day in Alexandra Hospital.
thank God i brought my camera along.
took not much photos, just a lil bit.
i'm going to miss the building,
so excited about the new hospital!
tmr will be my off day and then KTPH here i come!!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 @ 11:08 PM
building rapport
im learning to build rapport with patient's family members
as well as Drs and my fellow colleauges
towards patient's family
we talk about patient's condition
they told me alot about patient's life
their relationship with the patient..
had a 10mins chat with my patient's sister after work today.
i can sense that emotions she needs to vent it out.
she told me how much she loves her sister,
how her family members treated her etc.
simply just venting out all the frustrations and tiredness
and the best i can do is becoming a listener.
towards Drs,
much harder, but to joke with them,
to work together with them much more
life will be easier for both of us at least.
towards colleagues,
like fellow nurses, physios etc
to be more friendlier and with much respect
less attitudes and help them out if possible.
chit chat about patient's condition and help each other out.
i'm getting more and more blended into the ICU settings,
my life with people is getting slightly better.
which is really good.
for once, i got back that enjoyment in nursing
when i used to have when i was a year 1 student.
i can't wait to shift to KTPH!!!
@ 1:02 AM
you're welcomed.
last week i nursed a 22 y.o NUS engine student
He went trekking in Malaysia and caught a very lethal bug.
which caused him to have a bad pneumonia.
initially when he was admitted,
blood c/s was done,
urine c/s was done,
CXR was done,
stool c/s was done,
h1n1 swab was done.
and many other blood test was done.
everything was negative.
the team couldn't find the source
and therefore couldn't find the most suitable antibiotics.
so what they did was to try all ways to stablize him
and give him the broad spectrum antibiotics to cover his infection.
and nearly he needed ecmo.
finally 2 days later, he was quite stable but still critical.
then they did a CT thorax
and realised it was Leptospirosis aka rocky mountain fever
its virus was found in rat's pee.
apparently, knowing the source
the team treated him.
slowly wean him off the vent
to bipap then on room air
and that point of time,
i can see how concerned his brother was,
how concerned and worried his parents was
everyday without fail, they visited him,
stayed outside the ward and waited aimlessly for him to recover,
did not go back home, just pray in their hearts,
brought amulet water to sponge the patient.
today i saw him in the general ward
he looked like a healthy young man,
should be discharged tommorrow.
he smiled, and returned him a smile with great satisfaction.
countless "thank you" and hidden tears of graditude from his father
however in that same general ward,
there's another patient who was from MICU.
he had a bad fall and had cerebral haemorrhage bleed. after a few days in the ICU,
family chose terminal extubation and then transferred to general ward
then about 4 days later, today, he passed away.
i saw the family members outside the ward weeping and griveing,
looking out from the windows seeing the body sent to the mort.
everyday at in ICU there's sorrows, there's joy
unlike in the general ward,
life and death became very very real to me.
at any point of life,
things may happen.
a healthy young guy, who runs a marathon, goes trekking accidently drank rat's pee from freshwater, ended up having bad lungs and near death, thankfully recovered.
an ADL old man, had a ball fall and had a bad head injury which eventually leads to death.
i realised that it is really really important to appreciate and love people around you.
because at any point of time, there may be no chance to appreciate people and love them
because it may be too late by then.
i really enjoyed being in ICU,
despite the nasty rosters
i find meaning at work
even if i have to work night shift on my 21st bday,
i gladly accept it.
Monday, June 14, 2010 @ 10:12 PM
in life, there's no 100%
when a patient admitted into ICU with bad lungs,
when the 14th day is getting nearer
and the patient still needs mechanical ventilation support,
the family have to make a decision
terminal extubation VS tracheostomy
held my tears at work today,
it was quite tough. emotionally.
took care of 81 y.o Mr Ng.
and it's day 14th.
family needs to make their decision.
everyday i saw Mrs Ng at his bedside stroking his head saying,
" Good Morning Darling, i'm here to see you, faster recover and we'll have breakfast together"
She always tell me about Mr Ng
they are 7 years old apart,
Mr Ng always go for a walk in the evening, he's very fit
how Mr Ng always complained to her when he cut his nails
their plans for celebrating 50th wedding anniversary on Sep - a simple family dinner
then today with smiles on her face even after Dr J talk to them about the very poor prognosis
she told me Mr Ng waved bye bye to her.
its like watching a love story 'live'
very sad, yet sweet.
Mr Ng was very alert today after weaning off IV Dormicum,
despite his BP dropped, i can see that he's trying to hold on.
he kept his eyes open, cuz he know he's leaving,
he looked at his wife, his son with eyes that says i'll miss you.
he gave me that dreamy eyes too, like wanting to tell me something yet couldn't tell
but i glad i did managed to find out what he wants, he wants water.
i told him i can only wet his lips, he can't drink water now.
he asked for my hand to grab, so tightly, as if he's telling me
"thanks for taking care of me, i don't bear to leave yet."
i thank God that God gave Mr Ng time, to look at his wife, his children
God gave him strength to grab hold of their hands
God gave him consciousness to let him be aware of what's going on around him.
Mr Ng reminds me of gong gong definitely,
and honestly almost everyday, i've been thinking of gong gong.
and i thank God for that blessing, that very last moment of their life song,
they kept alert, they have peace with them.
currently Mr Ng's family have no made any decision yet
because in life there's no 0% nor 100%
there's always that 0.1% of hope.
it's not about trying or just grab that 0.1%
rather, the question is
are we ready/able to grab hold and stand firm in faith even though it'll be very tough, and at the end of all efforts, it may still fail us.
can we face the music?
Sunday, June 13, 2010 @ 12:17 AM
crazy cuzzies went bugis
SHOPPED AGAIN!
really had fun shopping with crazy cuzzies!
went empire state for dinner too
YUMS!
finally tried out this aspirin mask.
it's a DIY mask,
just need Aspirin tablets, pound it and apply it on face.
but i mix it with st ives clay mask for firmer face!
it's like 3 in one
treat pimple, pigmentations, refine pores and acne scars
exfoliates the skin
with the st ives clay mask, it helps to tighten and firm the face!
SO CHEAP AND GOOD!
aspirin tabs $5.40 for 24 tabs,
St Ives clay mask forgot how much but it's less than 10 bucks!
first try and i think it's really good,
hope it'll work!
i curse the pimples!!
Friday, June 11, 2010 @ 12:00 AM
A prayer of David
1 Hear, O LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.
You are my God; save your servant
who trusts in you.
3 Have mercy on me, O Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant,
for to you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul.
5 You are forgiving and good, O Lord,
abounding in love to all who call to you.
6 Hear my prayer, O LORD;
listen to my cry for mercy.
7 In the day of my trouble I will call to you,
for you will answer me.
8 Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord;
no deeds can compare with yours.
9 All the nations you have made
will come and worship before you, O Lord;
they will bring glory to your name.
10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
12 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.
14 The arrogant are attacking me, O God;
a band of ruthless men seeks my life—
men without regard for you.
15 But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
16 Turn to me and have mercy on me;
grant your strength to your servant
and save the son of your maidservant.
17 Give me a sign of your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.
-Psalm 86 (NIV)
Tuesday, June 01, 2010 @ 11:19 PM
by name
We grew up together
we know each other
by name.
my heart missed a beat one day
i know it was you that caused it to
from then i was attracted to you.
i couldn't find the reason why
when others said i gotta find
i prayed "Abba Father"
lead me to the answer.
there was a time
when we said hi
there was a time
seen a lot of each other.
happily it let on to another level
of knowing
you were riding i was driving
those storylines were crazy
there was smiles there was laughter
there was mocking there was teasing
there was care and that was the time
i didn't know you by name
and then next year
there was a time
at 2 AM,
you were studying, i was working
on M S N, you said you were busy
T T Y L, and you never come back to me again.
I prayed again "Abba Father"
all i want was just be friends
but it seem to never happen again
that day i know you by name, again
so i told myself, i'll cut the line
drown myself into sunday shifts
i'll brave this through
just like the short hair
it's going to come to an end
it's been a long long time
since we've come again
to the court where our eyes had met.
and now tell me
did i caught you looking
or you caught me watching
when our eyes met again.
today she asked me how was it
and there she tells me everything
not a little, not to much
that's all i say.
i thought it did not matter to me
but i was wrong because it did.
I'm glad she ask and so i know
that it did not end before.
the long bus ride
flashes memories
and there again
i'm missing it.
along the road
dark and alone
i told myself
to be strong.
and there, i prayed again
"Abba Father"
the bright shining stars in the dark blue sky
twinkle and smiling like children's eyes
plea to me that
i gotta let it go.
is this the time i should
know you by name?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
good lyrics huh????
hahahhahaa!
