she had 2 more important papers to go and she is having physical stress reactions like cold, tremors etc.
he had feelings for a girl and he's in denial, thinking it's not possible.
he had a growth on the chest that worries him alot.
my lyrics is in a mess! but my melody done. her lyrics done. my melody is in a mess!
i fear of being 1735 chairman. fear of not able to please God in my servings. fear of my everyday doings did not please God at all. that kind of fear that is greater than failing my exams. that kind of fear is greater than i've made a mistake at work.
Saturday, November 27, 2010 @ 1:11 AM
First field visit
National Heart Centre Cardiothoracic ICU
it was quite an eyeopener, the setting is quite messy but homely. Nurses and Drs there worked side by side like there's no strict hierarchy
there's patients who had 3-4vessels blocked did their bypass there aka CABG there's a patient who had very very very bad heart, waited for heart transplant nearly a year and deteriorated there's a patient who collapsed due to a heart attack there's a patient who had congenital heart disease there's a patient with a time bomb aka aneurysms and all these patients are hooked on lines, and big huge machines. like the IABP, ECMO, Ventricular Assist Devices, Pacings, etc.
of cuz, now i'm back to being a student, i can't touch these critically ill patients... really missed nursing such patients.
next trip will be TTSH Neuro ICU x)
Sunday, November 21, 2010 @ 12:06 AM
十字架上
Thursday, November 18, 2010 @ 9:21 PM
Psalm 86
A prayer of David. 1 Hear me, LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. 2 Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save your servant who trusts in you. You are my God; 3 have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. 4 Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you.
5 You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. 6 Hear my prayer, LORD; listen to my cry for mercy. 7 When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me.
8 Among the gods there is none like you, Lord; no deeds can compare with yours. 9 All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, Lord; they will bring glory to your name. 10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. 12 I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. 13 For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead.
14 Arrogant foes are attacking me, O God; ruthless people are trying to kill me— they have no regard for you. 15 But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. 16 Turn to me and have mercy on me; show your strength in behalf of your servant; save me, because I serve you just as my mother did. 17 Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010 @ 5:11 PM
what's hope?
The Patient I Failed by nerdtonurse?
She knew what she wanted.
She'd watched her husband of 52 years die on a vent, and followed his wishes to remain a full code. But she knew that was not what she wanted for herself.
So, she wrote a Living Will, had it notarized, gave it to her personal physician, told all her friends and family what she did not want. She wasn't eligible for a DNR, as she was a healthy 89-year-old, but she knew what she wanted.
"I do not wish my heart to be restarted through usage of any chemical, mechanical or physical intervention..."
Of her 6 children, one fought against her mother's decision, and it was this child, this one desenting voice, who found her mother collapsed on the kitchen floor.
"I do not want any external device to be used to maintain my respiration if my body is incapable of sustaining it on its own."
The daughter told EMS her mother was a full code, and they intubated her on the floor of her kitchen. Once at the ER, her heart stopped, CPR was performed, and her heart was shocked back into a beat. Under the hands of those trying to follow the daughter's wishes, the woman's ribs cracked and broke.
"I wish to die a peaceful, natural death."
She was then sent to ICU, where her heart tried to stop 3 more times. Each time, the broken ribs jabbed and ripped into the fragile muscle and skin as CPR was performed. Electricity coursed across her body and her frail heart was restarted a 4th time. By this time, the other children were there, but the act had been done, over and over. No DNR was written, and the Living Will fluttered impotently at the front of the chart.
"I do not wish artificial means of nutrition to be used, such as nasogastric tubes or a PEG tube."
Her swallowing ability was lost in the storm in her brain that had left her with no voice, no sight, no movement. A scan showed she still had brain activity; she was aware of what was being done to her. Including the PEG tube sank down into her stomach, and the trach in her throat.
"I wish nature to take its course, with only medication to prevent pain and suffering."
The daughter who wanted the mother to remain a full code also refused to allow narcotics to be given, stating she did not want her mother sedated, since she would "wake up" when the correct medical procedures were performed. Her nurses begged the doctor to write a DNR, and he said, "the family can't get it together, and I'm not getting into the middle of it."
"Allow me the dignity we give to beloved pets. Let me die in peace."
I met her one Tuesday night, and spent that night pouring Jevity into her tube, only to suction it back out. Her legs were cool and mottled, her bowel sounds were non-existant, and her blue eyes stared blindly at a ceiling she could no longer see. The MD refused to terminate feedings, but I held them since there was no digestion taking place. The woman was turned and repositioned every 2 hours, and each time, she moaned and gurgled as her lungs slowly filled with fluid. I whispered my apologies as I did the very things to her she tried so hard to prevent.
Suctioning improved her lung function, but would make her body tremble. Over the next 2 nights, she slowly died, all while the daughter demanded more interventions, and maintained that her mother wanted to be a full code. We had read the Living Will. We knew better.
"Thank you in advance for helping me in the last moments of my life to have a gentle, peaceful passing."
She had another stroke, and went back to the ICU, where she was coded until there was not enough surviving heart tissue to maintain a beat. Finally her heart was broken.
And so was mine.
Thursday, November 11, 2010 @ 8:57 PM
it's a painful day!
finally i got my lower braces fixed. and its DAMN PISSY PAINFUL! gosh.. knoky kwok said i have not tasted the worst yet. THE RUBBER BANDS.
then in the crowded 171, this army boy stomped my left foot twice! with his boots!
and then hunger sets in, and there comes the sour pain.
what a nice ending for the day.
plus,
more and more to mug every single day. learning all sorts of new stuffs every day lecture notes are piling up very very fast time is running out very soon. its week 4 already!!!
Monday, November 08, 2010 @ 11:33 PM
Advance Dip in Nursing (Critical Care)
it's not as easy as we thought, it's worse than degree loads of presentations loads of self study stuffs loads of things to study for exams and we left 7mths.
really dunno how to organise my time and my study. there's too much to handle. ahh!! kill me!!
Tuesday, November 02, 2010 @ 7:33 PM
motivate me, inspire me
i need to study. i really need to study. motivate me please!
more and more stuffs to learn. so stucked with research topic. procrastinating about tutorial projects faint.
i want to write a song. i really want to write a song inspire me please!
Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.
