Sunday, November 27, 2011 @ 11:45 PM
indeed there's a difference.
long ago, i asked v. "how come non-christian BF?"
"there's no difference."
today i asked v again "how's dating a non-christian?"
"he's open, he's willing to come to church, he'll ask questions."
in my heart, i'm glad. i hope he'll become a christian one day.
on my way home, Q texted me. sharing about his recent broke-up
Q is a humble atheist. they were together for 3 mths,
they broke up because the girl can't forget about her ex.
then Q also shared openly w me that he ended with his 2nd r/s because
he felt that he didn't really love her much.
as i travelled in the bus with my cousins,
i saw a very loving couple, whom i know.
they're my teachers in church, they're topic R's parents.
then i was thinking about how sweet and how loving my other teachers in church are.
indeed, there's a huge difference between
a God centered relationship vs a relationship
and i really thank God for letting me seeing it, and hearing it.
because in a God centered relationship,
they are fully loved by God. so they love each other fully.
"we love because He first loved us."
however in a normal relationship
there's always alot of discontentment such that the love can't be full
and what holds onto the relationship are responsibilites such as children,
self-centered reasons such as do not want to be alone when aged.
i ever thought to myself, if one day, a non-christian is to like me,
should i think about giving him a chance? or should i be stubborn
and pursue a God centered relationship?
but i'll wait. believing that till one day. this God centered relationship will happen.
R, u're amazingly always around. even the stupid crow sound that u always do.
it's crowing every single day around my hse, reminding me of u.
OH WELL. i've let go. BOO!
Friday, November 25, 2011 @ 6:01 PM
just do it.
am i using it as an excuse?
to hide away, to run away from the actual problem.
as i converse, i tried to maintain a strong front with a smile, holding onto my tears real hard.
"... you need ... own spiritual health. remember, you're not alone."
i couldn't really make up the full sentence he tried to say, i teared immediately after.
however still holding onto my tears with a smile very much, it just flow like spoilt water tap.
i saw tears welled up in his eyes too. i guess he knows that i'm not convinced.
i guess he knows i've been trying my best to hang on.
for the past few weeks, i've been very tight with work and alpha camp
i'd just simply chuck my emotions away and drown into the busy mood.
today, my heart just can't stop pounding. i want to leave this place very much
hcruhc.
Sunday, November 20, 2011 @ 6:08 PM
why like that??!
好累好累好累好累好累好累好累好累好累好累好累好累好累好累好累好累好累好累!!!
really really tired.. physically, mentally.
work these days are horrible horrible horrible!!
it's either patient passed away during the most busiest time
or when i finally settle down, able to go for a quick lunch, there's an admission!!
the turnover rate is so scary!!
like massive imports and exports =((
no strength le...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011 @ 9:48 AM
fully loved?
someone told me "he said, i must learn how to love fully."
then i said...
"i always believe that a person can never love someone fully, because one will always set an expectation of another person, once that person can't achieve what you expect of him/her, you can't fully love him/her. You need to be fully loved first, then you'll know how to strive to love someone fully, reason being cuz you've tasted the full love. "
then again, where's that full love? =)
my dearest friend,
i know that you know where i'm coming from.
i just need to keep you in my prayers that God will soften your heart
and let you taste this full love. then you will realise how to love fully...
you said love is simple yet complex.
i said love is just too simple, people are complicated, refused to believe that love is really that simple.
if one day, you really want to be fully loved, and yet none can give you that kind of love you want,
try, really try.. talk to God.. again, ask Him to show you how much He actually loves you.
then end it with a "in Jesus name I prayed, Amen."
Tuesday, November 08, 2011 @ 2:05 PM
failed.
look how failed my macaroons are. and how they have to become cookies.
Saturday, November 05, 2011 @ 9:03 PM
期待
有时心里-只在期待着一件事
也不断的祷告
也会看看问题是否在于自己。
也会一直问自己 到底在期待什么?
然后就对自己说,
“期待期待变成失望,有就有,没有就没有。”
似乎好像放弃了期待。
stumbled upon a photograph,
it was a picture that i used to like a lot.
there's 9 of us inside.
looking at them individually, thinking about how are they doing.
blissful, i guessed.
really missed those O'l good days when we're so close.
but today, we seemed to be far apart from one another.
oh well, there's many things in life as we grew up,
we need to let go. we meet new people along the way,
we stay busy to maintain what's important for us to survive in current.
though past memories are sweet, and reminiscence will just made us want those days again, and you know you can't have, you need to move on, just like how others do.
this symptom of pain, i believe it's a gift from God, to know that there's still something that's still holding us back, can't let go off, and we need to find a cure to it. to treat it.
@ 1:34 AM
looking after.
"因为
感觉会害怕, 当我闭上双眼
感受到孤独,当你不在我身边
这次的考验, 我必须去面对
但请你守护我,一起努力奔向雨天的彩虹"
above is what i see from my patients.
it's abit of lyrics that i wrote
we're supposed to look after our patients, protect them,
help them onto the road to recovery, but many times...
sighs.