and I will
keep dancing in the rain
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Friday, August 31, 2012 @ 1:12 PM
just love the way you are.

how can i not love this guy? 

I'm not trying to get all mushy here nor to say how loving we are
but i just can't helped to be amazed at the amount of love you can receive
from a complete stranger who became the love of your life, vice versa
how to love so much that he is always in ur mind. 

people might be saying, aiya... just started that's why, honeymoon period mahz.
i don't believe in honeymoon period, i believe that as long as both of us love one another genuinely,
the whole relationship itself will be honeymoon.

it may sound cliche, it may sound fairytale-ish.
but fairytales always end with happily ever after, so are relationships 
when both parties love each other genuinely. 

you won't get sick and tired of one another
nor will you have the idea of just forget it, just sua and let go of the relationship.
but together, you'll strive to change for the better, for the sweeter. 

recently i've heard of stories of different relationships
where a party grew tired of the actions and thoughts that the other party did/had
that sometimes they just want to give up in the relationship. 

well, easier said than done, but i realized and looked into my relationship,
as long as i love this guy, and this guy loves me, genuinely, not by words or actions
but wholeheartedly, the relationship will never grow tired. 

like korean/taiwan dramas, despite all the hardships, the sadness etc
when the actor and actress really love each other, they strive to maintain the relationship. 

how can i not love this guy? till the day he love me no longer. 
that's when i'll only say, let's sua. 
not because of being tired and sick of one another
rather, because love doesn't exist anymore. 

so, don't say "let's sua", don't feel "let's sua" that easily
because love doesn't come by that easily. 


Wednesday, August 29, 2012 @ 10:53 PM
FON ESSAY COMPLETED!
finally finally! i've tidied up my essay and completed it.
now i can totally focus on my sociology essay which is due next week! >.<

i've caught a flu again.
yes, i've been falling sick very frequent lately.
and wenya scolded me today for not having enough rest.

not enough rest doesn't mean sleep only,
but mentally too.
i guess true enough i haven't been well rested except for the past two days
where i have got no choice but to grab 2 days MC.

wenya scolded me that when i'm able to rest, i did not rest.
slept late at night, spent my off days hanging out with friends, else kenneth
therefore my immunity couldn't built up.
moreover with the frequent night shifts i have to do, my body clock is in total mess.
how on earth will the body recover fully.

true enough, yep, i haven't been resting much,
so much of denial but i really have to admit that's true.

lately i've been stressed up with school work, having to rush them
kenneth was asking me why didn't i start early, i actually did.
i did all my research, drew up the outline, however sometimes after work, together with all the frustrations i get from work, i just need some time to relax.

next i was stressed up with the fact that i have a 1735 to hold but it was once again
got caught up with my roster, tried to change the date,
but someone 'scolded' me for keep pushing the dates backwards
but i have to do night shifts, and there's no way to hold the retreat, what can i do?
i'm totally feel helpless. that's was y i was so burdened by 1735, and what XBLS said was true
i'm running away from Lishi, its not that i can't go, its because i'm running away from it.
yes, i am indeed. i felt better attending english service, whenever i see lishi people, i felt awkward.
really do.

for the past few days
i really want to thank Wenya, Ling Ling and Gera

Wenya for being such a dear, although fierce, she always scold me, but i know she's upset and angry because she cares for me. although i seem to be on deaf ears, but wenya, i really hear you, you're really the only one who really shoot me right in my face and scold me >.< but i thank you for that. sometimes i do show some anger towards you, but i thank you for tolerating me, and hope u continue to tolerate me, because sometimes i know i vent towards you and only know it that i'm wrong after.

Lingling for being super nice colleague, listening to me whine about work and people at work, helping me with my essays, encouraging me and supporting me a lot when we're working together on the same shift.

Gera for being always available to talk to, to joke with , which lighten up my mood, despite all her busyness in her work, to care about me, whether how am i coping with work, with essays, she really brought comfort and joy despite all the stresses i faced. she's the only friend who can tolerate all my nonsense rubbish jokes. hahaha!

its really amazing how God planted these people in my life
without them, i guess i'll just keep having my life fall apart.

love you all!


Thursday, August 23, 2012 @ 11:51 PM
I'm stressed.
yes, i'm stressed. 
spent the whole day yesterday trying to finish up my essay but i couldn't.
felt so lost, and do not know what to write, how to write. 

i dreamt of school work the whole night. 
dreamt of myself, typing, trying to figure out how to write,
asking qns and irritating my classmates to teach me. 
woke up in the morning feeling so tired still
and went back to sleep, then i dreamt about my essay again. 

then, i know i'm stressed out already. 
left one more week to finish up my 2 essays
and i'm so so dead. i have not started the other. 

back to normal day shifts after my 4 long weekends night shift.
poor kenneth, boyfriend is free, but girlfriend is working else sleeping. 
girlfriend is free, boyfriend is working. 
weekends together is really rare.
but thank God, coming weekend is something i really have been looking forward to!
it's been SO SO FREAKING LONG TIME since i have both saturday and sunday off! 
yay!

it's the start of Ghost month
and yep, i have plenty of super sick patients coming in as well as passed on. 
it difficult to not be superstitious but 3plus near 4 years of working in the hospital,
its hard not to believe. 
well, the point is, it's freaking busy... and its really tiring, mainly physically tiring
(patients are so heavy and my back and knees have been aching.)

next is 1735 retreat, it was planned on 1st sep, requested for day off already
but i couldn't get that day off, and worst still, its during my night shift. 
my dad won't allow me to go out in the day after a long night of work that have to be continued on the following night. tried to change it to 8th, but i'm working AM shift on the 8th, so can only have meeting instead of retreat for 1735.

sian, really sian.
stressed, really stressed. 
-.-



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