Saturday, December 29, 2012 @ 12:27 AM
merryyy christmasss & hny!
this festive season was tiring enough to drain me out.
but i'm loving the fun and warmth, love and care from my loved ones.
walking around thinking about what to get for someone,
buying presents, wrapping them up, was so much a pleasant feeling.
giving them out was even joyous.
uncle yock khoon and aunty xiao tu stay over my hse for roughly a week
and we celebrated christmas together, packing the place, chit chatting etc
oh, i really thank God for letting us have Siya with us while my aunt is out for a month's holiday. having domestic help at home during such busy days is the greatest gift from my aunt's family.
helping dear me who is doing 3 shifts, going for lessons, chionging christmas shopping, totally ignoring assignments.
while at last, finally ended all parties by the 27th.
and back to reality and serious business, i left 2 days for ward statistics
and approx 2weeks for essays, practical exams and test.
>.<
back to work facing all the nonsenses demands
mainly from the management side, my colleagues are complaining, while everyone is, myself too.
1 more year baby, i'm gonna be out of that place.
or probably out of the ICU setting. the cold harsh environment indeed.
life vs. money
i want life.
Monday, December 03, 2012 @ 12:05 PM
December is always my favorite month of the year.
the festive season of thanksgiving, sharing and remembering.
Giving thanks to the Lord for His love throughout the year,
giving thanks to people who loved, who cared, who helped me,
sharing the good news of the Lord through alpha camp
through caroling, remembering the birth of Christ Jesus and the purpose He came with.
This year December, became different.
the number of people i want to give thanks for became very little.
the people whom i thought of for christmas gifts became very few
sharing of the good news through alpha camp?
that's because i've been away from church(lishi) for a very very long time.
relationships with them distanced
i'm not participating, because work n school are very tight.
alpha camp is because there is no way i can get 4 days straight offs or morning shifts.
caroling? i'm not participating, because my mum gonna invite them home.
But i'm really glad that i have not forget the love of God, because He is always there reminding me.
For the past few days at work have been very happening,
pretty few unexpected death happened to people who are healthy and young.
20y.o girl pretty plump in size have been taking banned diet pills, but the cause of death wasn't the pills
it was just overwhelming bacteria infection in the bloodstream that causes it. the pills probably causes some adrenaline suppression that suppressed the blood pressure, adding complication to it.
51y.o father had a simple heart attack, wasn't expected to go into cardiogenic shock, however he did,
and collapsed. chest pain yesterday, stented today, and died because of sudden collapsed that wasn't expected.
80+y.o grandfather, can talk, can take bus around the area, shopping, suddenly developed severe pneumonia, life at stake right now.
there's more actually, yup these are my everyday life. and these patients always reminded me how weak we are. My doctors alway say, we're not God we can only try our very best. I always have to tell patient's family, that the things we're doing are just supporting him, can he get out of critical condition is solely up to his own body, we can only try our very best to help.
money and fame isn't everything, but health and your life is.
not good and healthy lifestyle, but the quality of it.
i saw someone whom i know (a christian) ?shotgun
what i thought wasn't about "huh!? she's christian and yet shotgun?!?"
but it was about "how weak we are when temptations set in, and we really need to stay close to God always."
i asked myself, will i ever be tempted, yes for sure. is my own willpower and knowledge enough to suppress it? Nope i can't, but i thank God that each time there's a voice in my head, 'no, gabrielle, no.'
i asked myself, what's my quality of life with God
i rate it as very unhealthy.
this year, i left 1735 midway, leaving them all the mess to clear it up themselves.
going to church is soooooo infrequent...
honestly, even when i'm there, my mind was blank out.
because i'm too tired after night shift or i'm just lost/distracted.
Rev poh said to myself and K before "even if you blank out, not listening, sleeping, its best that you do that in church, because one day something here will touch your heart, that's the power of God."
i didnt pray, i didnt do my devotions
i'm just so into my life.
i miss all the fellowships i had
i miss going to church.